COMING 2024
Finding Our Way Home
In part I of my memoir, I delve into the turbulent story of my Broken Family. I survived abandonment at age two, followed by years of neglect and the intense trauma of sexual abuse as a child. Shuttled between relatives, I ultimately found myself living on the streets at age 13. As a homeless teen, I witnessed my friend being shot, the harrowing experience of my boyfriend’s stabbing and the betrayal of people I trusted. This disruptive phase led me in and out of juvenile detention centers, all while struggling with a severe lack of public education.
During those turbulent times, I felt guided by a presence, that fostered a profound connection to things spiritual and unknown. These experiences were instrumental in shaping the course of my life, ultimately steering me off the streets and towards a purposeful path. As a result, in 1992, I founded Earth Guardians, an organization dedicated to empowering youth globally, which has since expanded its reach into 70 countries.
I believe my story possesses the captivating ability to keep readers engaged in the complexity and depth of the narrative as well as the exploration of the profound impact forgiveness has for healing relationships. Readers will discover the powerful potential we have, when we heal individually and as a community, offering a glimpse into a more hopeful future for our families and our planet.
It is a serious thing just to be alive on this fresh morning in this broken world
-Mary Oliver
Prologue
1975
I was already awake when the alarm clock under my pillow went off at 5:00 a.m. I quickly dressed, carefully walked up the stairs from the basement, and slipped out the back door. I didn’t want to wake my dad and siblings who were sleeping inside. Crickets were chirping as I left the house and the early morning sky was still filled with stars. I noticed that the birds hadn’t started singing yet.
I took a deep breath and paused to look around; I think I was waiting for some sort of blessing or good luck omen. My heart hurt at the thought of leaving Tonya and Mark behind, because Dad had just settled us all into a house together.
But I knew I had to go. Standing in the dark, the familiar knot of distrust tightened in my stomach as I thought about my moms disappearance and the multitude of times my father abandoned me. His departures etched deep scars in my heart, leaving me in the grip of my abusive uncle and separated from my siblings.
I didn’t realize then that my decision to from escape home would set in motion a chain of events that would pull me further into a violent, unforgiving world. I understood however, that I had to summon my courage as I embarked on this uncertain path.
Barefoot, I was wearing my favorite blue sweat jacket and carried my Converse sneakers in one hand and my heavy backpack in another. Crouching and peering ahead, I stepped toward the alley where my boyfriend waited. I could see Willie’s silhouette standing outside his ‘72 dusty blue Toyota Corolla with the hatchback open. The moon cast a long shadow behind him down the dark alley.
Willie was 19, tall, with a big afro, and his skin was silky smooth. I remembered the day we had met in Winchell’s, several months earlier. That was just before I robbed the place the first time.
I had taken the garage key off my dad’s keychain earlier that evening and left it in the lock. I turned the handle of the old metal door to the yellow brick garage that faced the alley, and slowly lifted it. My heart pounded as we loaded the back of Willie’s car with my boxes, and I imagined my dad stopping me as I tried to escape. We quickly finished loading, and Willie got into the car, silently closing his door.
Leaning over, he pushed open the passenger door and urgently whispered, “Get in, Baby. We’re goin’ home.”
I was just 13, but I felt ready to step into adulthood.
BROKEN FAMILY QUERY
It is with gratitude and excitement that I share my memoir, Broken Family; Finding our way home. My Memoir explores themes of resilience and struggle, similar to the works of Educated, by Tara Westover, and The Glass Castle, by Jeanette Walls
My tumultuous childhood was shaped by abandonment, abuse and chaos. My siblings and I were traumatized by my father’s immersion in the ‘60’s counterculture following the disappearance of our mother.
We were frequently separated amongst relatives, or were sideliners to my dads escapades such as the high-stakes world of Las Vegas, cross country hitchhiking trips and rainbow festivals. Because my dad was often dealing drugs, strangers came and went, and we were introduced to smoking pot at 7, 8 and 9 years old.
I struggled with my fathers erratic parenting; his new age lifestyle, unconventional diets and repeated absences. Continuously sending us away to relatives fueled a profound sense of distrust that permeated my life, and I was often separated from my siblings and left in the home of my sexually abusive uncle.
At 13, faced with homelessness and survival on the violent streets of Denver, I chose independence over a family life steeped in trauma. Alone, I had to learn to navigate the complexities of sexual abuse, crime, prostitution and teenage motherhood, while I searched for a place to belong. With only five years of education between elementary and middle school, I faced extraordinary odds.
Throughout my journey I describe the visceral sense of a spiritual presence that showed up in startling, profound, life-changing ways throughout my life when I was at my lowest, eventually guiding me off the streets.
At 19, this difficult path ultimately led me to a transformative spiritual experience with my father in a Native sweat lodge, which changed the course of my life. My memoir reveals my resilience to survive, while struggling to reclaim my identity, confront chaos, and embody the enduring power of hope through forgiveness.
About Broken Family, Bill McKibben, best selling author of The End of Nature, writes, Broken Family is a truly American story--brutal and hard, but also full of that pick-yourself-up, brush-yourself-off spirit. You can feel the author's energy flooding through.
Not long after my transformative experience at age 19, I was guided to create an alternative, accredited high school. The school grew into a global organization that empowers youth in 70 countries to take positive action against climate and environmental degradation. Through this work I cultivated relationships with over 100 esteemed people, with whom I share my quarterly newsletter. Among them are Mark Ruffalo, Suzy Cameron, Chris Meledandri, Dave Wirtschafter, Van Jones, Bill McKibben, Shailene Woodley, Bernie Sanders, Trevor Hall, Vandana Shiva, Satish Kumar and others.
I believe these associates and friends will help share Broken Family with a broad audience. In addition, Penguin Random House urged me to seek agent representation as the next step in the publication process as they have expressed keen interest in our family narrative, after publishing two books written by my (then) teenaged son, Xiuhtezcatl Martinez.
Part I of my memoir Broken Family concludes when I am 19 years old. I am now crafting the sequel, tentatively titled Guardians Rising : A Family's Journey to Protect the Planet.
~Xiuhtezcatl Martinez
My mothers story is nothing short of a miraculous demonstration of humanity's ability to heal, and transcend trauma to be a vessel for unconditional love.
Equally exhilarating, heartbreaking and inspiring, this recounting of her journey sheds light on the turbulent adventures she endured to arrive at her life mission of helping build a better world for the youth and future generations.
As great art often does, the darkness confronted and healing undergone through the writing of a book so personal reminds me of how closely the internal mirrors the external; how the individual mirrors the collective.
After a lifetime of service to youth worldwide through her groundbreaking work as the founder of Earth Guardians, this book unveils a profound story of love, loss, broken families, and healing.
Despite growing up never knowing a home or a loving mother, she not only provided for her 6 children, but also for thousands of young people across the globe whose voices and communities were nourished by the vision that my mother has been a vessel for, for over 30 years.
Courageous, captivating and necessary, the ripples of this journey now told will undoubtedly affirm and uplift many as we all navigate through the obstacles of this complicated and messy world, in search of our light.
